Ugh....

I'm not doing well. I don't know what I'm going to do. I might just blog and save it to post later until I figure things out and feel better about everything. Or I might just blog every little thing that I think.

I think I'm going to start back counting calories and exercising. Ugh.....I ate and ate when I got home. It is in my head,,,,I know it. I hate myself. I hate feeling like a failure when I do bad like this. I love the feeling of my clothes getting loose and getting into another size and the compliments. I want to do this. Why can't it be easier though??

The paragraph above is what I wrote to my aunt. I wasn't going to post it but I'm making myself. I need to be honest. Honest with myself and my friends and family who read this. Honest out loud.

I know the hcg stuff works. I saw it. It is very restrictive though and maybe the "eater" in me needs more. I know calorie counting works. It gave me more of a variety. Weight didn't come back on so fast when I did decide to eat a little. I'm just constantly looking for excuses I think. I KNOW that if I would STICK to SOMETHING that it would work. Anything would work if I stuck to it.

Another thing is I have to stop weighing every day. The hcg plan wants you to weigh every day. I'd probably be doing ok now if I didn't weigh and have trouble this weekend. I need to make a plan,,,weigh and then have Ray hide my scale for a couple of weeks before I weigh again.

Gotta go get some mommy and daddy swimming in before we have company the next two days. I'll blog more tomorrow I guess. Feel free to share your thoughts.